BAD SPORTS PHOTOGRAPHY 101

Hard to believe, but I was on the yearbook staff in high school as a photographer. I never took one shot. I'm the sort of person who likes to observe, but not be observed. Well, a female photographer running around campus, especially at my school with it's horrific pecking order, would have been very uncomfortable. I tried to stay as invisible as possible the 4 years I was incarcerated. If I had taken photos, especially sports photos, they would have looked like this. Okay, probably they would have all had their backs to the camera so actually the person who shot this is a better sports photographer than I ever would have been.


Click on image to see it larger.

So what sport are they playing? And is there a guy named "Spot" or are we supposed to "spot" Allen Hill? Not quite sure. You'll have to enlarge the shot to figure out the sport.

This weeks Sepia Saturday's image shows Dinah Shore and Burt Bacharach playing tennis, thus my sport theme. The closest I can come is this shot of Frank Sinatra dressed for golf. The shot was purchased at an estate sale many years ago. I'm guessing the person who took this shot told the story of the moment over and over and over again. Their "encounter" with old blue eyes.





And again, I apologize for not fully participating in visiting other Sepia Saturday posters. I think I have narrowed down the huge sucking sound I hear from my bandwidth. I believe it's due to a piece of cloud software I recently installed. I am on a satellite connection with limited monthly usage. I've barely been online and the usage level still shows very high. It stupidly never dawned on me that hooking up to the "cloud" was going to obviously cause this problem. A client had requested I install it. I've reset some preferences and hope to see the numbers dropping. Then again...maybe I've got a neighbor hacking into my router. Who knows? Sometimes I just want to run away from computers...but not before checking my email.

ASSEMBLY LINE Santa

Now this is how to handle a meet-and-greet with Santa in the 1940s. Keep it moving, keep it organized, everybody goes home happy. I'm not sure what the fellow might be doing with the microphone. Announcing the names of the wee tots as they pass by? Singing Christmas carols ala Sinatra? Perhaps doing a stand-up bit popular with the under 7 crowd. I do believe it's the first time I've ever seen the elves dressing quite so corporate.

TIME-TRAVELING-celebrities

One of the stranger aspects of collecting vernacular photos is when you stumble across one with a face you recognize. You know the person is not who you think they are. No, instead they're "time-traveling- celebrities." The people look so much like someone who is famous that you have to hit yourself upside your head to convince yourself they're not. 

I've seen some wonderful ones online at other sites that boggled my mind. A picture of Bing Crosby holding up a pair of tiddy whities perhaps dreaming of a White Christmas? Jerry Mathers, "The Beaver", as a little boy sitting between two little girls somewhere around 1910? Of course I don't have permission to post these, but I have a few of my own.

My best friend and I are convinced we've tapped into an aspect of the universe unknown by all but celebrities. Yes, it's just as you imagined, they are different than us. We lowly mortals are stuck in our day-to-day lives while celebrities are not only jetting around the world to fabulous locations, they're also going back in time. I don't think they do it to mess with our minds. They might even be shocked to find out that evidence exists. My proof? Well...

MY THESIS Bourne Out

Imagine yourself in a college dorm, maybe an Ivy League school, back in the 1950s. You've got a new friend from your literature class dropping by later in the evening who wants to go out to a coffee house to listen to a little bit of finger snapping poetry. You've got a Miles Davis album playing while you fiddle with the new camera your folks sent you for your birthday. There's a knock on your door and you decide to surprise your friend by taking his picture. You my friend have just stepped through the "time-traveling- celebrity black hole." Now you might not see it, but I have to wonder what Matt Damon was doing in the 1950s before he was even born (Bourne?).

NOT convinced?

Okay, I can see you're going to be a tough nut to crack.

It's the 1940s and you got a nice Kodak Brownie camera for Christmas. You've convinced the new girl in the neighborhood to let you take her picture. She's the sweetest most graceful 12 year old girl you've ever met, but she's told you she'll only be living there for a little while. Now all you've got left is this little snapshot until you turn on your tv in the 1990s and see the new show Will and Grace. Hmm...could it be? Debra, is that you? Are you just messing with my mind? I submit as evidence...Debra Messing, "time- traveling celebrity."

THE RING-A-DING Dinger

I'll make this one easy. Too easy. I won't even give you a scenario other than it's the 1970s and you're probably in Palm Springs at a golf course. Luck be a lady tonight because you just hit the jackpot. Old Blue Eyes is walking right towards you dressed head to toe in purple. Yup, this one is real. Frank Sinatra in 1972.