CHRISTMAS

Nothing says Christmas more than MONEY!

This is a recycled image in that it was included in my very first post last year. Thus I'm thinking really nobody ever saw this. Just recycle it. It's worthy of recycling because it's in such stunningly bad taste. And you thought those Christmas photo cards you got from friends and family were scream inducing. Imagine getting this. Really, what do you say? 

It makes me think of the time a friend asked that everyone give money to her parents anniversary party because she and her brother were trying to raise enough to send her folks on a cruise. So here's how it worked. There was a big surprise party for her folks and then at the end of the party my friend and her brother counted up the cash and then it was "Gee mom and dad, sorry...your friends just didn't care enough to send you on a cruise, but hey...you can get a couple good meals at Red Lobster. But really, we'd planned on a cruise. Sorry."

Yeah, money. Does odd things to people. May your Christmas be green.

ASSEMBLY LINE Santa

Now this is how to handle a meet-and-greet with Santa in the 1940s. Keep it moving, keep it organized, everybody goes home happy. I'm not sure what the fellow might be doing with the microphone. Announcing the names of the wee tots as they pass by? Singing Christmas carols ala Sinatra? Perhaps doing a stand-up bit popular with the under 7 crowd. I do believe it's the first time I've ever seen the elves dressing quite so corporate.